Emotions Avenue

2011-05-15T10:44:00.002+08:00

manage your time wisely.

make time for things that are important to you and how important you are to others, no matter how busy you are.

PLAN your days and months such that you make the other part feel important as well.

DO NOT BE SELFISH AND TAKE THINGS FOR GRANTED.

Life is short. BLOODY MANAGE YOUR FREAKING TIME AND PLAN IT WISELY.

enjoy the ride:)

2011-03-20T10:13:00.002+08:00

okay. get this.

'any challenges in life, are problem-solving.'

so, if a mother does not allow her daughter to buy the doll. thats the problem.

the way you solve, has got everything to do with it.

1) you cry and cry till the mother gives her the doll.

2) you comprehend the situation and accept it.

3) you ignore her for the whole day.

Any three option will give you a different outcome to the problem. Some maybe optimal and some are not. At the end of the day, if the solution satisfies both parties and not only one, emotional equilibrium has been reached.

I think it is really obvious that even people with the same wavelength are very different. It is obvious eventhough they are twins, they are still very different. But, isn't that how the world goes round?

So, given the situation, ANY situation. LET'S SOLVE IT TOGETHER. I mean, we are in this together right?

Yup, together.

And when it is solved, anything, anything is possible. ANYTHING.

2011-02-05T09:23:00.005+08:00

Sometimes I wonder why people are so cynical. Cynical about love, cynical about relationships and cynical about deals. It is so negative and disgusting. But you know what is the sad truth? The sad truth is that whatever they perceive on a certain issue is true to them, no matter what. At some point, you will realise that it doesn't matter what is the root cause of it as the outcome is still the same.

Then I question, when will one EVER be truly happy? When will one ever find fresh and new perspectives when all of it are negativities? We all have choices. Choices to live, choices to eat, choices to choose people in our lives. CHOICES.

There is, however a fine line. Once you make that choice that makes you happy, know the reason. This very reason will make you the person of who you want to be. People may hate you, rate you, shake you and break you. How strong you stand is what makes you.

Yes, we can be cynical. I wouldn't even go to the extend of being cynical, but I shall say, doubtful. Yes, we can be doubtful sometimes, but do make stand that is objective to others and yourself and find out the reasons why. Because at the end of the day, the reasons that you hold will be true to yourself.

Simply put, be positive and know exactly who you are no matter what others say.

What others say really doesn't matter, but what you say to yourself, matters most.

2011-01-02T00:43:00.004+08:00

What is Emotional Abuse?

Abuse is any behavior that is designed to control and subjugate another human being through the use of fear, humiliation, intimidation, guilt, coercion, manipulation etc. Emotional abuse is any kind of abuse that is emotional rather than physical in nature. It can include anything from verbal abuse and constant criticism to more subtle tactics, such as repeated disapproval or even the refusal to ever be pleased.

Emotional abuse is like brain washing in that it systematically wears away at the victim's self-confidence, sense of self-worth, trust in their own perceptions, and self-concept. Whether it is done by constant berating and belittling, by intimidation, or under the guise of "guidance," "teaching", or "advice," the results are similar. Eventually, the recipient of the abuse loses all sense of self and remnants of personal value. Emotional abuse cuts to the very core of a person, creating scars that may be far deeper and more lasting that physical ones. In fact there is research to this effect. With emotional abuse, the insults, insinuations, criticism and accusations slowly eat away at the victim's self-esteem until she is incapable of judging the situation realistically. She has become so beaten down emotionally that she blames herself for the abuse. Her self-esteem is so low that she clings to the abuser.

Emotional abuse victims can become so convinced that they are worthless that they believe that no one else could want them. They stay in abusive situations because they believe they have nowhere else to go. Their ultimate fear is being all alone.

Abusive Expectations

The other person places unreasonable demands on you and wants you to put everything else aside to tend to their needs.
It could be a demand for constant attention, or a requirement that you spend all your free time with the person.
But no matter how much you give, it's never enough.
You are subjected to constant criticism, and you are constantly berated because you don't fulfill all this person's needs.

Aggressing

Aggressive forms of abuse include name-calling, accusing, blaming, threatening, and ordering. Aggressing behaviors are generally direct and obvious. The one-up position the abuser assumes by attempting to judge or invalidate the recipient undermines the equality and autonomy that are essential to healthy adult relationships. This parent-child pattern of communication (which is common to all forms of verbal abuse) is most obvious when the abuser takes an aggressive stance.

Aggressive abuse can also take a more indirect form and may even be disguised and "helping." Criticizing, advising, offering solutions, analyzing, proving, and questioning another person may be a sincere attempt to help. In some instances however, these behaviors may be an attempt to belittle, control, or demean rather than help. The underlying judgmental "I know best" tone the abuser takes in these situations is inappropriate and creates unequal footing in peer relationships. This and other types of emotional abuse can lead to what is known as learned helplessness.

Constant Chaos

The other person may deliberately start arguments and be in constant conflict with others.

The person may be "addicted to drama" since it creates excitement.

Denying

Denying a person's emotional needs, especially when they feel that need the most, and done with the intent of hurting, punishing or humiliating (Examples)

The other person may deny that certain events occurred or that certain things were said. confronts the abuser about an incident of name calling, the abuser may insist, "I never said that," "I don't know what you're talking about," etc. You know differently.

The other person may deny your perceptions, memory and very sanity.

Withholding is another form of denying. Withholding includes refusing to listen, refusing to communicate, and emotionally withdrawing as punishment. This is sometimes called the "silent treatment."

When the abuser disallows and overrules any viewpoints, perceptions or feelings which differ from their own.

Denying can be particularly damaging. In addition to lowering self-esteem and creating conflict, the invalidation of reality, feelings, and experiences can eventually lead you to question and mistrust your own perceptions and emotional experience.

Denying and other forms of emotional abuse can cause you to lose confidence in your most valuable survival tool: your own mind.

Dominating

Someone wants to control your every action. They have to have their own way, and will resort to threats to get it.
When you allow someone else to dominate you, you can lose respect for yourself.

Emotional Blackmail

The other person plays on your fear, guilt, compassion, values, or other "hot buttons" to get what they want.
This could include threats to end the relationship, totally reject or abandon you, giving you the the "cold shoulder," or using other fear tactics to control you.

Invalidation

The abuser seeks to distort or undermine the recipient's perceptions of their world. Invalidating occurs when the abuser refuses or fails to acknowledge reality. For example, if the recipient tells the person they felt hurt by something the abuser did or said, the abuser might say "You are too sensitive. That shouldn't hurt you." Here is a much more complete description of invalidation

Unpredictable Responses

Drastic mood changes or sudden emotional outbursts. Whenever someone in your life reacts very differently at different times to the same behavior from you, tells you one thing one day and the opposite the next, or likes something you do one day and hates it the next, you are being abused with unpredictable responses.

This behavior is damaging because it puts you always on edge. You're always waiting for the other shoe to drop, and you can never know what's expected of you. You must remain hypervigilant, waiting for the other person's next outburst or change of mood.

An alcoholic or drug abuser is likely to act this way. Living with someone like this is tremendously demanding and anxiety provoking, causing the abused person to feel constantly frightened, unsettled and off balance.

Verbal Assaults

Berating, belittling, criticizing, name calling, screaming, threatening
Excessive blaming, and using sarcasm and humiliation.

Blowing your flaws out of proportion and making fun of you in front of others. Over time, this type of abuse erodes your sense of self confidence and self-worth.

Characteristics of Emotionally Abused People

Judge themselves without mercy.
Have trouble accepting compliments.
Often take responsibility for problems, but not successes.
Or they go to the other extreme and refuse to take any responsibility for mistakes while trying to take credit for the work of others.
Have trouble having fun since their childhoods were lost, stolen, repressed.
Take themselves very seriously or not seriously at all.
Have difficulty with intimate relationships.
Expect others to just "know what they want." (They can't express it because they were so often disappointed as children that they learned to stop asking for things.)
Over-react to things beyond their control.
Feel different from others.
Are extremely loyal, even when facing overwhelming evidence that their loyalty is undeserved.
Are either super responsible or super irresponsible.
Tend to lock themselves into a course of action without giving serious consideration to alternative behaviors or possible consequences. (This impulsiveness leads to confusion, self-loathing, and loss of control over their environment. The result is they spend much energy blaming others, feeling victimized and cleaning up messes.)

She also makes this observation:

Intelligent people, through their ability to analyze, often realize things which are disconcerting, which others would not see. They also are often capable of feeling more deeply, both pain and joy.

Adapted from Struggle for Intimacy, by Janet Gerringer Woititz

See List 2 Below

List 2 - source unknown

Feelings of low self- esteem (they say as a result of being criticized.)

We perpetuate these parental messages by judging ourselves and others harshly. We try to cover up our poor opinions of ourselves by being perfectionistic, controlling, contemptuous and gossipy.

We tend to isolate ourselves out of fear and we feel often uneasy around other people, especially authority figures.

We are desperate for love and approval and will do anything to make people like us. Not wanting to hurt others, we remain "loyal" in situations and relationships even when evidence indicates our loyalty is undeserved. (I would say not wanting to lose them, having an extremely hard time "letting go.")

We live life as victims, blaming others for our circumstances, and are attracted to other victims (and people with power) as friends and lovers. We confuse love with pity and tend to "love" people we can pity and rescue. (And we confuse love with need)

Denial, isolation, control, shame, and inappropriate guilt are legacies from our family of origin. As a result of these symptoms, we feel hopeless and helpless.

We have a strong need to be in control. We overreact to change things over which we have no control.

Basic Needs in Relationships

If you have been involved in emotionally abusive relationships, you may not have a clear idea of what a healthy relationship is like. Evna (1992) suggests the following as basic needs in a relationship for you and your partner: (I have changed this from "rights" to "needs" and made other small changes- S.Hein)

The need for good will from the others.
The need for emotional support.
The need to be heard by the other and to be responded to with respect and acceptance
The need to have your own view, even if others have a different view.
The need to have your feelings and experience acknowledged as real.
The need to receive a sincere apology for any jokes or actions you find offensive.
The need for clear, honest and informative answers to questions about what affects you.
The need to for freedom from accusation, interrogation and blame.
The need to live free from criticism and judgment.
The need to have your work and your interests respected.
The need for encouragement.
The need for freedom from emotional and physical threat.
The need for freedom from from angry outburst and rage.
The need for freedom from labels which devalue you.
The need to be respectfully asked rather than ordered.
The need to have your final decisions accepted.
The need for privacy at times.

Know who you are.

Reflect more positively on things.

Stop emotional abuse.

2010-12-31T13:49:00.011+08:00

2010 marks a different meaning to the word: FAMILY

MY FAMILY

ZARKASIH ADLAN

KODOK FAMILY

TEAM K FAMILY

TJC GIRLFRIENDS FAMILY

BUTTSISTAS FAMILY

SRJC FAMILY

2010?

ALHAMDULILLAH ALHAMDULILLAH ALHAMDULLILAH

If it's not for these wonderful families,

I honestly don't know where I would be.

Thank you guys for being SO SO

SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

AWESOME

in my life.

2011?

It's going to be EQUALLY AWESOME,

IF NOT, MANY MANY MANYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

TIMESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS MORE

AWESOMEEEE

HAPPY 2011 SISTERS, BROTHERS, MUMMIES and DADDIES!!!

2010-12-28T13:25:00.003+08:00

My favourite quotes from my Su Octopus:)

"it's really nice when your amazing friends love the guy you love almost as much as you do"

" most people fail at whatever they attempt because of an undecided heart. should I? should I not? success requires the emotional balance of a committed heart. when confronted with a challenge, the committed heart will search for a solution. the undecided heart searches for an escape. a committed heart does not wait for conditions to be exactly right. why? because, conditions are never exactly right. "

"insanity keeps us sane"

SO SO SAYANG the OCTOPUS.

2010-12-27T09:56:00.004+08:00

A wiseman once told me:

"The thing about boys is that they are so very rational. And it's just how they are. The thing is,

we know better and boys are stupid."

I sometimes wonder whether they really understand the amount of patience and understanding we have.

I also sometimes wonder what is it like to really be in their shoes and theirs in ours.

I really really do.

2010-12-26T00:38:00.001+08:00

Can i say it again?

I really really REALLYYY don't like the monster.

SERIOUSLY.

like you have NO IDEA.

again, BUAT BODOH SUAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA.

2010-12-06T08:27:00.003+08:00

everyone has only so much to take.

my patience for you is running thin.

it's either,

1) you talk to me, no, US with respect (even maids/slaves are not treated this way),

2) STOP accusing me for being imperfect and look at the BLOODY GODDAMN MIRROR,

3) treat others EQUALLY.

If not,

I will keep my distance further

So,

SHUT THE FUCK UP,

FUCK OFF

and

FUCK YOU.

2010-12-01T22:49:00.003+08:00

okay baby. I will keep my hair long. I mean, I have always been. Looking at this girls, it just ressures me whyyy.

oh yes, Happy Birthday!

From all of us, I mean, your own angel, Sofi!

2010-11-29T22:51:00.004+08:00

Because all the pictures summarises 3 'milestones' of 2010 that I will never ever forget.

1) My 24th.

2) Arifah's arrival.

3) Many many epiphany moments.

ALHAMDULLILAH.

2010-10-25T01:31:00.001+08:00

why is my niece, Nur Insyirah Nabilah so so sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo cute?

why ah?

how ah?

how ah how ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh?

2010-10-25T00:39:00.002+08:00

"This is what i call, the EDUCATED IDIOT"

LMAO

2010-10-23T02:01:00.004+08:00

Emotional insecurity

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Insecurity may cause shyness, paranoia and social withdrawal,

or alternatively it may encourage

compensatory behaviors such as arrogance,aggression,

or bullying, a principle enshrined in the

phrase "all bullies are cowards." Many people suffer a

period of insecurity during puberty,

which gives rise to a lot of the stereotypical

behaviors of adolescents.

Also, sometimes people who have

a strong character can actually

suffer from emotional insecurity.

They may subconsciously have a

naturally strong character to hide inner personal feelings.

2010-10-21T18:41:00.001+08:00

"You got clobbered! what the hell happened man? The other team didn't just beat you, they annihilated you!"

2010-10-18T18:40:00.003+08:00

"I have more respect for a boxer that is in big trouble and goes out and gives everything and sometimes gets knocked down then a boxer who quits at his corner. I hate seeing a boxer quitting in his corner"

how about "You can't fire me, I quit !" lol, well, again, what is the range and context. highly, higly dependent on tt. after which, we question is it really worth it? whatever Michelle has signed off to, the opportunity better be damn good.

2010-10-17T21:54:00.007+08:00

to sum it up,

my october has been awesome(eventhough it is not the end of it yet) and will always remember the lessons learnt from acta and the people that i have met.

when i am 35 and have kidssssss, i want to have a body like sharine.

when i am 62, i want to have the energy, the enthusiasm, the child-love, the sense of humour like david.

when i am 25, i want to be as successful, as influential, as effective, like isa.

when i am 29, i want to get my masters in THAT particular field, be very specific,clear and efficient like leonard.

when i am 65, i want to do the same thing like adrian and be at a platform where i can influence people around the world.

where i am now(not John's age), eventhough i have shake it up on a lot of things, i still want to offer my learners a different perspective and not only by the books.in John's work, "eh, never mind, come come, we only live once. hahahahahha"

when i get married(InsyaAllah, InsyaAllah), i want to do something with my husband and make the world a better place by embarking on a project like cheng hong and winston.

where i am now, i hope to be as articulate and hardworking to write a reflective journal everyday like kate.

when i decide to reside/migrate/study for awhile elsewhere, i want to be as comfortable, as bubbly like sheeba.

where i am right now, i have also learnt that,

when i have my own company, i will must not be selfish, arrogant and unappreciative.

i have to be very careful in choosing who are my friends,acquantices and those who are in my personal space no matter where i am.

i am very capable of detaching my emotions to unworthy moments to some friends.

i will try my level best to help myself first without being standoffish to the people around me.

listening has a greater power than talking.

and questioning has the greater power than listening.

lastly, before i die, i hope to learn as many things as i can and apply it at the best possible way to benefit myself and everyone.

it is going to be an amazing ride.

oh yeah,

THIS.IS.MY.ADVENTURE.

and i am beyondddddddddddddd EXCITED.

2010-10-03T15:33:00.003+08:00

you know what.

i will never allow any of them to be like you.

in fact, i will NEVER be like you.

because i WILL NOT ALLOW IT.

the WORDS and TONES that you use are DESPICABLE, DISRESPECTFUL, DEGRADING and VERY VERY VERY HURTFUL.

i am aware. i have always been aware. better dealing at it. but that doesn't mean it leaves me unhurt. in fact, it leaves me a stronger person to deal with this NONSENSE.

it is nonsense.

pffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffft.

2010-09-22T00:46:00.001+08:00

I will never trust you 100%.

2010-09-17T00:14:00.002+08:00

When do you draw the line?

How do you draw the line?

2010-09-11T02:16:00.002+08:00

1 Syawal 1431H.

Today.

Today is the perfect day of reflection.

A reflection of Allah, ourselves and to others.

Today I see another part of you,

Or rather something I've always seen,

but just didn't read much about it.

Today, I reflect.

Today, I saw something in you,

in a different light or darkness.

Today, you tried so hard to piss me off,

which you thought was funny.

Today, I was totally nonchalant about it and even asked,

"Are you even listening to yourself?"

Today, today, I laughed not WITH you,

but AT you.

At how pathetic it was

to go to that extent.

Today, today, no, not today,

everyday,

you compare,

and,

to compare is to despair.

and everyday, you did, have been doing, will be doing,

just that.

Today, I cried.

I cried on the first of syawal for the first time.

Today, not today,

everyday,

for the good, the bad and the ugly,

i am very thankful and blessed,

for my parents,

my family and

food.

Today, not today,

i hear a person dying of cancer in stage 4

seeking for forgiveness and

do the EXACT opposite.

the intentions now will be questionable.

Today, we took a video,

made it a classic one.

Today, will mark the new tradition in the Arshad Family to make-a-video on the first syawal for memories sake.

Today, i realised that i can be a creative director

and have always known that

the purpose in her life is to make her life live to the fullest.

Selamat Hari Raya

Maaf Zahir dan Batin.

Baysok conperm chope guarantee rumah Cikgu Hasan penuh dengan muslimin dan muslimat. Barakah!!!

2010-09-09T03:08:00.003+08:00

pfffttttt..........

ignorance is a bliss when it comes to you.

less comm, more quality.

less affected, more nonchalant.

again and again and again.

because I am awesome,

BUAT BODOH SUA.

2010-09-07T01:31:00.003+08:00

go and find someone else to be impatient with, demanding and to nag at.

it's sickening.
i am fine with my own ma.

2010-09-03T15:24:00.001+08:00

highly irritable.

2010-09-02T03:35:00.000+08:00

TRUST ALLAH S.W.T

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IYMKQKSV0bY

PASS IT ON.

2010-08-30T02:12:00.002+08:00

When ideas have sex.

It's not important how clever individuals are, he says; what really matters is how smart the collective brain is - Matt Ridely

2010-08-29T12:31:00.003+08:00

Quote unquote from Facebook,

"Boys, don't get mad when a girl cares too much. Worry when they start to not give a fuck"

So, don't make a BIG DEAL out of everything girls. Or better still, don't make it a deal at all.

2010-08-23T02:03:00.004+08:00

if you think you are very patient, think again.

if you think you are very understanding, think again.

if you think you are very cool and calm, think again.

if you think you are very nice, think again.

if you think you are very smart, think again.

we are all humans and we are all flawed. we always want good/better things in life and it begins with ourselves first. but, there is also a limit to everything.

"Patience has its limits. Take it too far, and it's cowardice." ~ George Jackson.

2010-08-21T01:24:00.005+08:00

"Eh, macam Men in Black" - Papa.

"Point number 7 is that programming languages are like girlfriends: The new one is better because you are better." - Boyfriend

"Happy 28th month anniversary baby! You are the best girlfriend in the whole wide world:)" - Love of my life.

2010-08-14T00:21:00.004+08:00

i don't smile very often now. not that i am unfriendly or unhappy or anything like that.. in fact, i am happier and very much at ease with how things.I used to smile so much that my mouth hurts. to me, smiling was my mask. my mask to hide my insecurites, my mask to hide the humiliations/paisey moments and my mask to hide the uncertainties of what lies ahead. now, i still smile. i smile at the right time and to the right people. somehow after being evolved for about a year or so, my direction in life is more certain. the right people are at the right places in my life. whether it was through experience or just so happen to be. so today, i made my parents, smile, no, i made my family, smile. for what it may be i do not know but it doesn't really matter because their smile is what makes me smile. yeah,its tough. i know. but in all seriousness, whatever we do, just remember the life after death.

2010-08-11T01:27:00.001+08:00

I think this is good.

Ramadhan Checklist.

Let's try to fulfill it, InsyaAllah.

REQUIRED DAILY ACTIVITIES
Got up for Fajr on time and prayed Fajr with its Sunnah
Made my morning Dhikr
Prayed all prayers on time and on earliest time possible
Made the recommended Dhikr after every prayer
Prayed all the 13 rakah of Sunnah prayers
Made Qunut/Dua for the Muslim Ummah in a prayer
Made Dua for my parents
Commanded one good
Forbade one evil
Prayed more than 1 fard prayer in a mosque (males)
Read the Tafsir of one verse of the Quran
Read one new Hadeeth and its meaning
Read 1 page of the Quran as a minimum (with understanding)
Attempted to increase in knowledge (reading/listening)
Attempted to practise one rare Sunnah of Rasulullah
Made one Muslim smile
Made my parents smile, hugged and kissed them
Did not argue, nor backbite with anyone
Did not harbour ill feelings in my heart against anyone
Did not do anything I was unsure about its permissibility
Tried my best to take care of my body
Gave charity (monetary)
Preserved or removed a harm from the environment
Made Dua for the Prophet (SAWS)
Make Tawbah & Istighfaar 100 times
Pondered 10 minutes about struggling for this Deen
Did a special deed that is secret between myself & Allah
Gave some of the extra food from Iftar to my neighbours
Made my afternoon Dhikr
Prayed my taraweeh prayers
Prayed the Witr prayer
Read Surah Mulk before going to sleep
Wrote down/updated my will
Pondered about my Death and of the Day of Judgement
Prayed absolute minimum 2 rakah Tahajjud prayer
Asked Allah for Jannah and refuge from Jahannam (X3)
Went to sleep in a state of Wudu
Went to sleep without ill feelings towards any Muslim
REQUIRED SPECIFICALLY ON FRIDAYS
Read Surah Kahf
Attempted to pray Jumah earliest time & best gathering
Pondered 5-10 minutes about the khutbah & its message
Took extra care to groom & maintain myself
Made Dua only for Rasulullah (SAWS)
WEEKLY REQUIREMENTS
Memorized minimum 1/4 page of the Quran (with understanding)
Memorized 1 hadeeth of Rasulullah
Memorized 1 Dua from the Sunnah
Fed/Clothed one needy person or gave a gift to one
Made Istikharah about an important matter
Attempted to join the hearts between two Muslims

2010-08-10T01:13:00.002+08:00

nothing makes you feel betterrrrr than seeing your cousins and Insyirahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh sing to peterporn on national day while you are in the bus on the way home. so so cute.

2010-08-02T23:49:00.002+08:00

sometimes, all you need the home-make cornflakes and a lychee drink. that was wonderful
:)
(and yessssss, i made the cornflakes myself ahhh! don't play playyy)

2010-07-30T22:40:00.002+08:00

the irony. i do not know whether i am the oblivious one or you the one who is simply not aware of the people around you. yes i admit that my actions was wrong and for that i apologised. but what you did was unnecessary and made me question the word, respect.tell me if you don't like. you could have handled the situation so much better. so so much better.

2010-07-30T01:50:00.001+08:00

While you SCREAM at your woman, there's a man wishing he could talk softly to her ear. While you HUMILIATE, OFFEND and INSULT him, there's a man flirting with her and reminding her how wonderful she is.
While you HURT your woman, there's a man wishing he could make love to her.
While you make your woman CRY there's a man stealing smiles from her.

remember that, always remember that.

2010-07-29T01:54:00.002+08:00

you always pick up your phone, even when you are sleeping.

you, buy me food when i am sick.

you wipe away my tears when i'm sad or happy.

you are so lovely.

just thinking about you baby.

good night.

2010-07-09T03:07:00.001+08:00

How tides control the sea, and what becomes of me
How little things can slip out of your hands
How often people change, not to remain the same
Why things don't always turn out as you plan

These are things that I don't understand
Yeah, these are things that I don't understand

I can't, and I can't decide
Wrong, oh my wrong from right
Day, oh my day from night
Dark, oh my dark from light
I live, but I love this life

How infinite is space, and who decides your fate
Why everything will dissolve into sand
How to avoid defeat, when truth and fiction meet
Why nothing ever turns out as you plan

These are things that I don't understand
Yeah, these are things that I don't understand

I can , and I can't decide
Wrong, oh my wrong from right
Day, oh my day from night
Or dark, oh my dark from light
I live, but I love this life

bring us back to Surrey in the green meadows and the chilly weather.

2010-07-05T01:59:00.005+08:00

I do not know whether they heard it right. But, it somehow bothers me. One, the questions from me. GOD, it was somewhere in the back of my mind but it didn't come out right. Two, the part where I learned the most in those days. Of course I cannot rewind back the time, but we move forward, learning, two important lesson. The more and more and MORE you sweat in peacetime, the less you bleed during war.

I know you are always listening to my prayers.

okay. off to doing something fruitful now.

2010-07-04T14:56:00.009+08:00

So, in the LIGHT of the World Cup 2010, we, the WAGS, THE HOT BABES, THE IRRESISTABLE HOT HOW BABES,

CHEER ONNNNNNN

AND ONNNNNN

WITHHH

GERMANY!!!!!!!!!!

and nadi is seriously a yol la. stop it alreadyyy.

by the way, why do the Mak Salleh's love putting their phones in between their boobs? I shall try that one day then.. HAHA. probably Brazil 2014 yo!

2010-07-03T02:27:00.001+08:00

i.really.do.not.like.this.feeling.

2010-07-02T00:12:00.002+08:00

2010-06-19T06:55:00.005+08:00

For the past few days, I have been breathing, eating, shitting and sleeping Apprentice Season 5. Why season 5 because it was the most viewed video on YouTube and it happened to be the first video when I typed Apprentice on the search button.

Personally, I think other seasons were better, in terms of the potential of each contestant. But, what I really liked about this season was their "work ethics" of and also how different every contestan is and it somewhat best depict the real world out there. I wish I watched Apprentice before I entered the working world because there were so many similar situations and it just taught me how to handle it better. There is just so so much to learn from apprentice.Seriously, the "perfect world", "butterflies and roses everywhere, everytime" and "ohhhhh , you are soo nice, thank you for supporting me all the time" doesn't exist. it boils down to you and whether you have the right tools to succeed.

We have, Summer who totally frustrates me when she made ONE phonecall for a task in marketing that she was responsible for. I mean like, HELLO?!?!?!!? you are a restaurant owner, and you made ONE phonecall thinking that you can clinch a deal, just like that. Just because you think it is, "phoney" to call restaurant at an "inappropriate time", you rest on your laurels and let your teammates run the show. There is a more proactive approach in which you could take, where 1) by calling up moreeeeeeeeeeeee restaurants for business and 2) go down to the restaurants and really market what you are selling for. it really doesn't take long if you think on your feet rather than somewhere else. Seriously, do you want to win this? And my judgement was right, she was fired in the first week.

Then, we have a very successful criminal defense attorney, Stacy, who looks very decent and lovely at the beginning, UNTIL, Brent came in the picture and it really questions her job as CRIMINAL defense attorney. So, yes, Brent is a little bit difficult to manage, talks a little bit too much, overzealous in brainstorming, a little bit on the Plus size, but hey! he is your team mate and you do not totally cut him off like that. and NEWSFLASH!, you are annoying, while Brent who really didn't do anything majorly wrong is a sweet young man. Just because he confronted you for cutting him off incessantly, and "THREATENED" you by swirling the pen and somewhat point it to your face, you were so highstrung about it and made a realllyyy big issue about it and affected the task at hand. Seriously, is this the worst threat you have ever received in your whole lifetime as a criminal defense attorney and SERIOUSLY, did brent really threaten you? i can't decide which is worse or is it just the way of life, an attorney who picks on unneccesary details or being a woman who is emotional and make a big issue out of nothing. maybe it would help, if right from the beginning, you respect all your teammates and listen to them. it is work afterall, nothing personal(god, i am so Trump-phied!)HAHA.

Then we have Brent. A really sweet guy, a lot of enthusiasm, very very opinionated and somewhat i have a soft spot for. After the first 2 episodes i knew he was always bullied by friends or teammates, maybe because of his weight(very highschool), and not that i went through like that before, it is just that i know of victims who suffered hugely from bullying. However Brent, Brent did not play the victim card. He, in fact, stood up to these bullies and dealt with them. But, not so efficiently. He was more of a volcano and had verbal diarrhea in trying to put his point across. He listens, but doesnt understand, which is really wasted because this guy he has a lottttt of ideas. to be honest, i like them too, but somehow, somewhere, none of the teammates respected his voice. weeks after weeks, his neck was on the line, hoping for room for improvement, but it seemeed that he never ever learned. wasted potential, but hey! reality has it that if you can't change, you are all by yourself.

And, we have Tarek. I tell you, he is literally a Tarik, because I thought wow, this guy is really good combination of brains and brawn. A member of MENSA, top 2% of people who has the highest IQ and he really does look like Orlando Bloom. Very very impressive at first, but he just proved that common sense is not that common at all, despite your innate ability of being the most intelligent person in the whole wide world! To go to the boardroom repeatedly, shows that maybe you didn't put your best foot forward. Charmaine was so right that you were not open to feedbacks and took it like as though it was a major blow to your ego. To accuse and assume your teammates that they were threatened by you because of your think that you are the strongest player in the team, is such a turn off. Never ever EVER judge the book by its cover. BUT, what makes it better was that he really did improve as the shows goes by. He was a great teamplayer, he listens and open to criticism. See Brent, let's learn from Tarek ok?

And, Micheal. Micheal, Micheal and Micheal. I thought you were a confident young-looking man. But, this talking toooo confidently has got to stop. Where is your substance, boy! Quite frankly, you were one of my favorites, until, you took many many hours to decide on a colour when time is ticking. His indecisiveness and lack of trust among teammates reminded me of me back then and watching this from a 3rd party point of view, it really really affects the dynamics of the team. Now I know how much I frustrates Zak so much. Don't worry Micheal, learn through experience, it is the only way up!

Lenny, you are a very very funny guy! Seriously, you reminded me of Gusto from Ratatouille with the funny Russian accent. You are very entertaining to watch and maybe, that's it. Favourite quote, " Maybe if Theresa's brain were bigger than her boobs, she might think better" HAHA. i liked you instantly. Maybe you should join America's got Talent instead?

Then, we have the self-made millionaire owner of 4 businesses, Andrea. No college degree. Very successful and very tall. HAHA. So, I had no opinions of her whatsoever, UNTIL, she cried in the bathroom when Brent was back in the boardroom. Seriously, how old are you? 31 or 3 or 1? how did Brent hurt you in anyway? For a successful woman, i didn't really expect this at all. You only strengthened my belief that emotional intelligence is far far FAR more important that IQ.Got frustrated when a member doesnt agree with your opinion. However, i think that she is great at planning, which is a very important step in a successful task. I like that about her. There are certain things that i dont agree with her, but when she coughed out blood and her nose bled, i really hope that she was going to be fine. I mean, afterall, she is still a person right?

Charmaine, I think you are a great speaker and also you are as cool as a cucumber for a lady. For that, I admire you.

Allie and Roxanne, if you think that you weren't a clique. you.are.delusional. seriously! friendship and business does not go. you need to know when to be professional and when to be a friend. Student Council in JC has taught me a lot in this and seriously, let's get better at it, not worse.

Lee. You are a true inspiration for many people. For a 22 year-old boy, to accomplish so so much at a young age, it is amazing. College gradauate. GPA of 4.02. Business Analyst for the former Merrill Lynch, truly a street-smart guy and a religious person. I admire the risks that you take in a task, strategies implemented and executed. Loyalty to your friends. But is the loyalty and a large amount of trust in your Lenny that made your nemesis clinced the tittle! wasted, wasted, wasted. Truly, i thought he was going to win before the final task. But after Lenny comes into the picture as the team member. Lee falls completely to the ground. Should have chosen, allie, roxanne and micheal instead of roxanne, lenny and PEPI( i know, i cant even remember him, Trump) But when i look back, i truly truly learned a lot from you and make the young adults really proud and probably a role model.

Last but not least, the winner is Sean! Did i expect it? 50-50 because his opponent was Lee, based on the previous tasks, he did extremely well! Sean? He didn't really leave me a lasting impression BUT his level of energy and passion reminded me of me. Always on-the-ball. For a degree holder in a mediocre university, he is truly an example of a person who transcends the paper chase idea and based it on experience. He was also good at picking his teammates for the final task, putting all personal issues aside. Leveraging on their strengths of marketing, planning and operations. Not mentioning his level of energy which is infectious, I truly would love to work with these kind of people. Simple passionate about things.

They say, life is also about bussiness. And really whatever character the contestants is somewhat i have experienced before. it really reminded me of my council days and days at Pru.

we make mistakes, we learn from it. we make mistakes again, we learn from it again. i also know that there are many many more funny people out there to just well, make the world go round!

well, i know it is a looong entry but i really feel strongly about this and hopefully we all can learn something from here and be successful according to our terms. It is always good to follow the successful people in order to be successful. So here it is!

Sean Yazbeck

Everyone's definition of success is different. What's yours?
I define success as the attainment of what Aristotle referred to as “eudemonia.” Eudemonia is the striving for excellence in everything you do to bring about prosperity in all parts of life: for you, family, friends, colleagues, and clients. And it is this striving for excellence in life that manifests virtue of character and defines true success.

To succeed in life, you have to...
...have an insatiable desire to win. If the fire in the stomach is innate then you’re halfway there. In the words of Mr. Trump, “I do it to do it.” However, regardless of whether or not it’s a natural yearning, you must continually set goals for yourself. Success is a constant state of motion and you should be consistently striving towards achieving a goal. Success is not simply the attainment of the goal itself but it is in the actual process you go through in order to obtain it.

You must also believe in yourself. Having true confidence in your convictions is essential. You must have the faith that if you put your mind to it you can achieve anything. It may sound somewhat clichéd, but it’s true.

Persistence is also significant. Never give up. Each time an obstacle is thrown in your path, take a step back, analyze the situation, and then have another go.

Continually setting goals to drive yourself to the next stage is ultimately the key. In business, set KPIs (key performance indicators) to measure your performance over time and against that of your peers. But be sure to have fun on the way. Setting targets shouldn’t feel like a chore. You’ve got to love what you do.

What are the most important qualities in a leader, and do you possess them?
The most important qualities in a leader that I strive to posses are integrity, decisiveness, an understanding of the business at hand, consistency, willingness to admit a mistake, the ability to listen, passion, motivation, and humility.

In “Winning,” by Jack Welch, he wrote, “Before you become a leader, success is all about growing yourself. When you become a leader, success is all about growing others.” As such, I endeavor to surround myself with a team consisting of individuals that embody integrity, intelligence, maturity, and passion. I believe far more can be achieved by a leader who allows individuals to feel empowered, valued, and motivated than a leader who micromanages every moving part of a task. So I’ll evaluate, coach, and build self-confidence within my team, but I’ll only intervene in their individual task implementation when necessary.

A positive leader with a positive outlook will end up managing a positive team. And when a team of talented individuals works well together, they’ll win every time.

Have any previous Apprentice winners motivated or inspired you? If so, who and why. If not, what did you think of the winners?
Bill Rancic. He put in a brilliant performance and displayed a natural ability to get on with people. It’s near impossible to get on with everyone all of the time, but to win you must concentrate on managing relationships with the other interviewees as much as winning the actual tasks.

Why should you be the next Apprentice?
In addition to an outstanding proven track record in business development, I offer a distinct international business perspective that has been developed over nine years in more than 20 countries. It’s a uniqueness that would instantly add value to the Trump organization.

If you could be any movie star from any era, who would you be and why?
Cary Grant. The archetypal, debonair leading man. Handsome, witty, and charming. Referring to the persona he created he once said, "Everyone wants to be Cary Grant; even I want to be Cary Gran

2010-05-29T14:44:00.003+08:00

i find a lot of joy in children and really, in future, i would like to have as many kids as i can.

but, here are two very very contrasting stories about two-year old children.

one, a girl, Ella, from America who brings about smiles and laughter to people, singing "baby" by Justin Bieber. and the normal reaction of pple would be. "awwww... isn't she adorableeee?"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xCPzRr5XQV8

can you imagine??? she have yet to even say a sentence and there she goes singing the whole song! super super cute.

but, the next one is rather disturbing in so many different levels. it is about a boy, Ardi, same age as Ella, smoking like a chimney, 40, yes, 40 sticks a day. my heart broke into pieces when i read on my twitter/news. i was furious, sad and very much affected by it because hours before that i was watching Ella. In addition, that wasn't the first time i saw a video of a very very young Indonesian boy smoking a lot of ciggies in a day.

http://www.todayonline.com/World/EDC100528-0000091/Hes-two,-and-he-smokes-40-cigarettes-a-day

http://www.break.com/index/two-year-old-toddler-smokes-cigarettes.html

so who is responsible for it? the parents? the ciggies? advertisement? government? tobacco companies? everyone has a role to play in it. it has only strengthened my dislike towards ciggies, especially when it involves innocent toddlers. before you light a cigg, think, what impact will it have on you? how will it affect your family? how can it also affect the rest of the world? poor indonesian kids. you really do not deserve this. you should be showered with love, care and concern in the right way.

2010-05-24T22:59:00.004+08:00

"baby, can you update your blog? each time i go to your blog i see a scary monster"

i couldnt agree more. its aizat's beautiful face. what can i say. high time to update.anyway, i lvoe TED. it has a lot of wonderful wonderful video and recently, i came across Adora Svitak. she amazes me so so much when i watch her video on TED twitter. At the age of 12, to be a teacher, author as well as a PHILANTHROPIST, i think that is AMAZING. child prodigy who learn to read and write at redha's age, 4 years old and at 7 years old, close to Zikry's age, she wrote her first book. when i was primary 2 i was probably still busy playing with Polly Pocket and zero point!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=unbbLmADNqc

so, all it takes is to read 3-4 books everyday and COMPLETE IT. read about anything and everything. the effective use of the internet and you are on your road to stardom. I sure know what to equip with my future children. no special potion or vitamins, just read. and of course, the support from family and friends.

seriously Adora, I don't know if you know this, but seriously, I am truly truly inspired by you and you are my motivation to help me achieve my dreams too. Thank you.

2010-05-09T03:46:00.003+08:00

okay. the deal: we paint your nails, you get your wallet back.

so, this is vat you get.

i also wanted to paint my nails.

azim macham PAHAM, "Didn't you hear what syirin said? it's one coat!" NAH! ambik kau and see how comot my ring fingernail is.

izmal, WORSE!. painted my middle fingernail and it literally look like a lizard's shit.

syirin's niece, my little cupcake. im glad you convinced me to follow you in arfah's car after our meet-up. look at her eyes.

i want to have 53579834985394857935739583598357 babies now.

and syirin's nephew that just sticks on your body and never lets go.

how awesome is tt?

2010-05-04T14:14:00.002+08:00

Financial

Learn to work out a budget, including a plan for savings, and stick with it.
To stay out of debt - only buying what you can pay for.
Learning to live within their means.
Open a checking account and learn how to use it.
How to write bills and pay them on time.
How to use a credit card wisely.

Life Skills

How to hold a job, doing their very best, even if the job is unpleasant.
How to grocery shop, using sale ads, coupons, and discount stores.
How to plan a menu and prepare simple meals.
How to prepare a holiday meal and entertain guests.
How to do everyday housework like disinfecting toilets, vacuuming, dusting, dishes, etc.
How to take care of the house structure and appliances such as painting, washing siding & windows, replacing furnace filters, routine maintenance on appliances.
How to do laundry and iron.
How to take care of a baby.
How to take care of routine maintenance of a vehicle such as checking fluids and changing oil.
How to make memories including keeping track of family birthdays, holidays, and special occasions, being thoughtful on those days.

How to make good decisions by sorting and thinking through the issues.

Character

Character is very important.
To always work hard at whatever you do.
That honesty is an important virtue as is keeping promises
Choosing to do right, even when everyone else is doing wrong; meaning how to deal with peer pressure.
Living with the consequences of their decisions - whether good or bad.
To be charitable and kind to others.

Spiritual

To be close to God.
How to find answers to spiritual questions.
How to study the Quran for oneself.
They are accountable to God for how they live.

2010-05-02T03:01:00.006+08:00

i think April 2010 was memorable. too many to mention. but at this stage, i just let the pictures and the videos do the talking.

17th April 2010.

Mak Ati's 52nd EPIC birthday surprise.

It was Mak ati's 52nd birthday and we decided to give her a pleasant surprise. But what came after was even more interesting as Husni provided the most epic-est of failures. Enjoy!

Mak Ati has no freaking clue that we are going to surprise her at all.

0.02: Surprise Mak Ati!!!!!

0.43: Invited Mak ati and Mak enah(another birthday girl) to sit outside the house before entering for some special performance.

1.22: Husni preparing his silat for the birthday girls. DONT ASK ME WHY THERE IS SILAT PERFORMANCE.

1.40: Husni was serious nak mampos wokay.

1.46: PEREKKKKKKKKKKKK!

1.47: Husni: Eh, soryy, seluar KOYAKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!

2.00: I think my mum laughed the loudest amongs her sisters, but really really it was damn funny.

2.07: I came over to bell asking her whether she recorded as i was carrying insyirah.

2.13: Mum still hysterically laughing.

2.25: Om asking P.Ramlee to jahit. seriously laaa. so pendekar bujang lapok rite????

2.40: Bell: really ah? Husni: BETUL! BESAR!

3.20: Mum laughed so so hard till she teared!

3.29: *background music: ALLAH SELAMATKAN KAMU from youtube. Abg's crazy idea.

okay dah. i told you. massive kecoh. but really really how can you not love them rite?

20th April 2010

HEH. We are 2 Baby! We are 2! Simple yet very very significant

24th April 2010: Rock-climbing AND Ungu Mega Concert.

Rock-climbing: Never ever thought I could reach the top but i did! Owkay, i dont know how my kodok video going to turn out to be like but I am glad that i am able to represent the kodok family. you guys are freaking awesome la.

Ungu Concert: Truly enjoyed the concert with awesome company. really really.

okay something wrong with the fonts and the pictures. nevertheless, kthxbye!

2010-04-30T13:17:00.003+08:00

Your challenge is to facilitate our students' entrepreneurship learning process of discovering, evaluating and tapping opportunities. You will be required to guide and coach our students in setting up and running businesses. Besides providing training and business advisory support to our students, you will also need to establish a good network with the business community and other organisations so as to bring about maximum entrepreneurship learning opportunities for our students and graduates.

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm..................................

The Life Skills modules, with emphasis on experiential and project-based learning, aim to equip students with essential skills for their careers in an increasingly globalised economy.You should have the passion to work with youths, have a penchant for making lessons come alive and an interest in facilitating the acquisition of soft skills (such as Communication Skills, Personal & Interpersonal Effectiveness, Thinking & Problem Solving Skills and Customer Service) to enhance students’ employability.You should be an effective communicator and experience in the areas of Leadership Development, Character Education and Coaching & Mentoring will have an added advantage.

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm............

juststickwithwhatyoudoand BE PATIENCEEEE(HAHA)

HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM......

2010-04-28T14:15:00.003+08:00

Name Sofi
Location Tibet
Bio An Indonesian girl living in Tibet together with the love of her life.

Heh. Welcome to the world of burung burung, Sofi!

2010-04-24T01:17:00.001+08:00

ku ingin selamanya...................................................
wah. best. esok. gua enggak sabar dong.mahu bersama Pasha!

esok sekali gua akan ke Bali !

Indonesia! tanah airku!

2010-04-22T22:15:00.001+08:00

talk less, think positively more.

2010-04-21T00:51:00.003+08:00

i am tired beyond comprehension, not because i did not have enough sleep, not because there are too much work but because it strains to talk at a normal audible volume. i did not take the flu/cough/sore throat seriously as i thought that it will cure on its own. but after a few days coughin like a mad dog and especially especially after i laughed so much over supper with aizat, din and jachaceh, it got pretty bad.but howwww? they are just super hilarious. so, it seems that honey red tea and robittusin aint working, therefore i am going to the docs tom,
i.need.my.melodious.voice. back for work so pleaseeeeeeeeeeee pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee cure faster sofi.

anyways, in other news, i realised i am quite lo-mantic ah. hahaha.

i did this for our 2 years anniversary and this is only the first gift to him! i especially love the chipboards letters i bought from urban write and not to forget the collage too. have always believed in personalised gifts and truly truly the one person who inspired me to do so is bari'ah. i still keep those letters that she gave the buttsisters where she would decorate it beautifully with it. it takes a lot of effort to do it and that is why i really appreciate it. this years celebration was simple and lovely. no extravagant dinners, no extravagant gifts, no flowers just me and him. but what i particularly love about this years celeb is the location, which was the same exact location where soflan(HAHA. sofi and adlan) was formed 2 years ago at terminal 2! simple.sweet.lovely.
and my favourite part of it all was when ibu doa kan for the both of us and InsyaAllah the doa dikabulkan. ameen.

so now, both of us are super broke as he just paid $1k for his XR4 and i paid a few hundreds for my face medication. gawd. i hope pimplelities will go away soon. ahhh. we know its worth it.

baby! we are 2 baby! we are 2! more 958203849023430284032840923840239840934803840923482042 years to come!

InsyaAllah. Ameen.

2010-04-18T03:01:00.002+08:00

it is 3a.m and i am very wide awake. my body clock is going haywire and i have no idea how i am going to wake up for 9 a.m for my power-walking around my neighbourhood tomorrow. YES, you heard me right, POWER-walking. been doing some simple form of exercise for two main reasons. the first one is for loooooooooooong term so that erm, i wont turn out to be a hippo anddddddddd to prepare myself for rock-climbing with the kodoks next week! i have never ever ever climbed a rock wall before and the last time i did, i only manage to climb the first quarter of the wall. so, if yanie is going to be there, she is so so going to be my girlie buddy. Yippie.

and damnit, i left my book in my brothers car. i am so so desperate to know what is going to happen to Lucinda after how Nick treated her and i am seriously hooked to that book now. the feeling is so strong that i am willing to walk a good 3 km to bro's house just to get my book since
i.can't.sleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep.

i think maybe cos anak-anak hasan had so so much fun at west coast park that my energy level is 984923080202840928304320942904820 and i can just do my power-walk this very moment. haha. but seeing kakak on that mini flying fox was just hilarious and how we just push each other from one end to another. we should do this meet-up every week, the anak-anak hasan plus menantu dan cucu sahaja. sungguh lively.

but prior to that we went to bro's office at german centre and seriously, the concept of german corporate culture is just so so different. open concept, no partition and very very very small company. we had the whole place to ourselves and me and redha were playing with the chairs in his office, while zikry was just obsessed in massaging me. shiok!haha

so, its 2 more days to the big BIG day. got ABANG DIN to doa for us just now. thought he was joking, but noooooo, he was really serious and he doa for a good 45 sec, till he said, takaballahuminkum! minawaminkumtakabalyakarim. ameeen.

still very wide awake. i think my rambling nonsense is going to stop here while i read another book and i shall stop thinking about what is Lucinda's next move.
so, move on and stop brooding.

happy reading, you!

2010-04-18T02:27:00.003+08:00

today i made a promise to myself,

physically,
mentally(family) and
emotionally.

so, KEEP IT and
lets put in the effort together shall we?

2010-04-14T16:34:00.002+08:00

“People always say that, when you love someone, nothing in the world matters. But that’s not true, is it? You know, and I know, that when you love someone, everything in the world matters a little bit more.”

—	Jodi Picoult, Handle with Care

2010-04-13T12:07:00.003+08:00

nadi&budi.
the favourite couple of the year is going to ungu concerto with my kodoks!
YAYNESS!
and Hady is gg to be there.
melts melts melts.

2010-04-12T19:52:00.001+08:00

It is not about what you know, but who you know.

2010-04-10T23:50:00.001+08:00

to itik and kambing tommorow at nadi's!

andddd

i wonder if it really taste like RUBBER ducky.

2010-04-07T22:50:00.005+08:00

sick puppy today.
and this photo is beautifully taken by Mr Lobaloba,

who is definitely enjoying every single moment

2010-04-07T00:04:00.004+08:00

“A great friend is like a good bra… hard to find, supportive, comfortable, always lifts you up, never lets you down or leaves you hanging and it always close to your heart"

Gen Dalley

Got this from one of my girlfriends tumblr and seriously. it's either she is my long lost twin or another Sofi that i know. This is because we think alike(though i feel that she is wayyyy smarter,patient and motherly than me) and we somehow go through certain experiences in life in the same timing. There are so many things that we agree on so many different levels and truly, when it comes to certain things, she will be the first person i turn to. And she, is a good bra. A damn good one from either La Senza or Mark&Spencers, hard to find(really to think that we are still damn close up till now), supports in everything and anything I do, seriously comfortable in every sense of the word, always lifts me up whenever I am, never ever lets me down and always there on time, always, always, always there and seriously, her warmth is impeccable that she is always close to my heart. Sometimes i wonder if i am a good bra like she always do. But really, if i failed to be a good bra, i will work on it and do something about it to be just like her or better and NOT LEAVE IT HANGING.

and sometimes i wonder to, are you really a good bra?

2010-04-05T00:06:00.002+08:00

If the Tibetians find it respectful to stick your tongue out at someone else, similarly, being Pro-Tibetians, we are just showing random acts of love!

and really, nothing else matters.

2010-04-02T06:57:00.004+08:00

like cherry, chocalate, candy,
meet sue, sofi, syirin.
the sisters i never had.
only the fact that
sue originally comes from Vietnam,
sofi comes from Indonesia,
syirin comes from the Middle East.
i sayang you guys so much.
how ah?
haha.

2010-03-29T16:29:00.001+08:00

next time, when you want to play a prank, think twice!

2010-03-28T23:24:00.005+08:00

Sofi really really want baby girls, first. heh. and then, baby boys. woots!

And Insyirah is really really really really cute.
macam maner nieee?

2010-03-27T19:27:00.001+08:00

http://tv.gawker.com/5502227/all-the-single-babies

All the single babies! All the single babies! All the single babies! All the single babies. Wo-oh-ohhohh-ohh. woooooooahhhhhhhhhh

super cute cannnnnnnn

2010-03-25T20:22:00.003+08:00

urgh. the belacan bacin smell still lingers on me now and seriously, its not sexy at all(humming to the tune Big girls don't cry by Fergie). i guess its still stuck to my nostrils despite digging it out a million times in the bathroom just now. i watched blindside only because of the hot momma Sandra Bullock. I've always liked her eversince Miss Congeniality as she sings, "You think I'm gorgeoussss, You wanna date meeeee, You wanna loveeee me" Yikes! And she must possess some skills to win the best in the academy awards and worst in the razzie all in the same year. but oh wells, i need to look into these celebrities a little bit deeper now. Oprah, Ellen, Sandra and all that. Not because i am inspired to be an actress, more of their many random acts of kindness(R.A.K) How Ellen generously gives IPOD aways to audiences like free PADs(the ones we see in magazines) and Oprah having such a huge heart for the minorities of the world.

so, tomorrow, about running my own show. i know it can be done. to think that i have yet to put a finger on it and start practicing, but she told me to just chillax and do it from the heart. And i think that is essentially the point. no point writing thousands of scripts, correcting the grammar, using bombastic vocab, because what matters the most is the inside. so, i know, i have Oprah, Ellen and Sandra by my side to look at just in case of a panic attack. but seriously, i think i am better at dealing with those attacks already. now, gotta start rehearse and let the show begin!

Be more splendid, more extraordinary. Use every moment to fill yourself up - Oprah Winfrey.

Kind of reminded me of Su awesome and Sofi awesome motto: WE WANT MOREEE! Iloveyoubabysu!

2010-03-22T22:44:00.003+08:00

reflexion//
so,
follow the love equation/

2010-03-20T18:21:00.004+08:00

why are you so freaking awesomeeeeeeeeeeee?
and i know some day you'll be an awesome awesome AWESOME dad.
hi baby anaqy!

2010-03-19T00:25:00.000+08:00

MONDAY MONDAY MONDAY MONDAY MONDAY MONDAY

COME QUICK, DAMNIT!

2010-03-18T01:56:00.003+08:00

i can hear the waves splashing to the shore again,
i can smell the salt water and sea creatures from afar again,
i can see the boys surfing against the wind again,
i can taste the A.C.C with the spread of nasi padang again
i can feel the freedom once again!

oooooooooo... July 2010, please materialise, please please please.

2010-03-17T12:56:00.001+08:00

because insyirah is the cutest baby in the whole wide world. in nadi's words, nyonya jual telorrrrrrrrr. with the hair and the lips.

2010-01-18T23:49:00.000+08:00

Invictus

Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds and shall find me unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.

2010-01-15T14:58:00.003+08:00

A book of hope.
its not called a book of hope for nothing.
it brings a lot of faith, hope, optimism.
A lot has happened.
Mistakes made.
Self-presevation was amiss a long time.
i forgot who She was.
do remember you always
5 stages of grief-denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance.
But we somehow pick ourselves up with Allah by our side.
And I know He wants it best for me this time.
Let's move on with a lot of positivism and forgiveness of ourselves first then others.
*hugs

2009-12-09T01:59:00.001+08:00

hungreh.

2009-11-23T23:44:00.000+08:00

oh yeahhhh. sticking to it. stickinggggggggg to it.

2009-11-16T04:27:00.000+08:00

how trueeee!!!
enjoy reading ppl.

Difference between men and women

Let’s say a guy named Fred is attracted to a woman named Martha. He asks her out to a movie; she accepts; they have a pretty good time. A few nights later he asks her out to dinner, and again they enjoy themselves. They continue to see each other regularly, and after a while neither one of them is seeing anybody else. And then, one evening when they’re driving home, a thought occurs to Martha, and, without really thinking, she says it aloud: “Do you realize that, as of tonight, we’ve been seeing each other for exactly six months?” And then, there is silence in the car. To Martha, it seems like a very loud silence. She thinks to herself: I wonder if it bothers him that I said that. Maybe he’s been feeling confined by our relationship; maybe he thinks I’m trying to push him into some kind of obligation that he doesn’t want, or isn’t sure of. And Fred is thinking: Gosh. Six months. And Martha is thinking: But, hey, I’m not so sure I want this kind of relationship either. Sometimes I wish I had a little more space, so I’d have time to think about whether I really want us to keep going the way we are, moving steadily towards, I mean, where are we going? Are we just going to keep seeing each other at this level of intimacy? Are we heading toward marriage? Toward children? Toward a lifetime together? Am I ready for that level of commitment? Do I really even know this person? And Fred is thinking: …so that means it was…let’s see…February when we started going out, which was right after I had the car at the dealer’s, which means…lemme check the odometer…Whoa! I am way overdue for an oil change here. And Martha is thinking: He’s upset. I can see it on his face. Maybe I’m reading this completely wrong. Maybe he wants more from our relationship, more intimacy, more commitment; maybe he has sensed - even before I sensed it - that I was feeling some reservations. Yes, I bet that’s it. That’s why he’s so reluctant to say anything about his own feelings. He’s afraid of being rejected. And Fred is thinking: And I’m gonna have them look at the transmission again. I don’t care what those morons say, it’s still not shifting right. And they better not try to blame it on the cold weather this time. What cold weather? It’s 87 degrees out, and this thing is shifting like a garbage truck, and I paid those incompetent thieves $600. And Martha is thinking: He’s angry. And I don’t blame him. I’d be angry, too. I feel so guilty, putting him through this, but I can’t help the way I feel. I’m just not sure. And Fred is thinking: They’ll probably say it’s only a 90-day warranty…scumballs. And Martha is thinking: Maybe I’m just too idealistic, waiting for a knight to come riding up on his white horse, when I’m sitting right next to a perfectly good person, a person I enjoy being with, a person I truly do care about, a person who seems to truly care about me. A person who is in pain because of my self-centered, schoolgirl romantic fantasy. And Fred is thinking: Warranty? They want a warranty? I’ll give them a warranty. I’ll take their warranty and stick it right up their… “Fred,” Martha says aloud. “What?” says Fred, startled. “Please don’t torture yourself like this,” she says, her eyes beginning to brim with tears. “Maybe I should never have…oh dear, I feel so…”(She breaks down, sobbing.) “What?” says Fred. “I’m such a fool,” Martha sobs. “I mean, I know there’s no knight. I really know that. It’s silly. There’s no knight, and there’s no horse.” “There’s no horse?” says Fred. “You think I’m a fool, don’t you?” Martha says. “No!” says Fred, glad to finally know the correct answer. “It’s just that…it’s that I…I need some time,” Martha says. (There is a 15-second pause while Fred, thinking as fast as he can, tries to come up with a safe response. Finally he comes up with one that he thinks might work.) “Yes,” he says. (Martha, deeply moved, touches his hand.) “Oh, Fred, do you really feel that way?” she says. “What way?” says Fred. “That way about time,” says Martha. “Oh,” says Fred. “Yes.” (Martha turns to face him and gazes deeply into his eyes, causing him to become very nervous about what she might say next, especially if it involves a horse. At last she speaks.) “Thank you, Fred,” she says. “Thank you,” says Fred. Then he takes her home, and she lies on her bed, a conflicted, tortured soul, and weeps until dawn, whereas when Fred gets back to his place, he opens a bag of Doritos, turns on the TV, and immediately becomes deeply involved in a rerun of a college basketball game between two South Dakota junior colleges that he has never heard of. A tiny voice in the far recesses of his mind tells him that something major was going on back there in the car, but he is pretty sure there is no way he would ever understand what, and so he figures it’s better if he doesn’t think about it. The next day Martha will call her closest friend, or perhaps two of them, and they will talk about this situation for six straight hours. In painstaking detail, they will analyze everything she said and everything he said, going over it time and time again, exploring every word, expression, and gesture for nuances of meaning, considering every possible ramification. They will continue to discuss this subject, off and on, for weeks, maybe months, never reaching any definite conclusions, but never getting bored with it either. Meanwhile, Fred, while playing racquetball one day with a mutual friend of his and Martha’s, will pause just before serving, frown, and say: “Norm, did Martha ever own a horse?” And that’s the difference between men and women.

the last few days before syawal is overrr.

2009-10-12T08:06:00.005+08:00

2009 raya season is almost fading away
and the sweetest part of it all
is spending
every moment with you.

thank you baby for the car rides,
driving us around eventhough you are dead tired
for trying not to complain at all
and just being youuuuuuu.
you make me fall in love with you all over and over and over again.

*hugs.
To those countless times that i have been nagging at you.
complaining lil bit too much to you
punching and pinching and abusing you. haha.
losing your mind because of my tey-ney-ney-ness
and
always always always
being ever patient, kind and lovinggggg for us.

Selamat Hari Raya
dan
Beribu-ribu-ribu-ribu-ribuuuu ampun segala dosa-dosaaaaa sayang.
haha.
*hugs

2009-09-19T19:56:00.002+08:00

Berseri murni
Di pagi Aidilfitri
Bersalam-salaman
Mengheningkan dosa amalan mulia

Bermaafan keinsafan
Di pagi Aidilfitri
Moga panjang umur bersama
Menikmati keindahan pagi Aidilfitri

Damainya di jiwa
Suasana hari raya
Teman sanak saudara senyuman nan mesra
Harmoni bahagia

Illahi berkati
Di pagi Aidilfitri
Ku bersyukur dan ku berdoa
Terus mengecap nikmat di pagi Aidilfitri

Tergambar riang ria
Di pagi hari raya
Suara kanak-kanak tertawa
Oh gembira wajah ayah bonda

Bermaafan keinsafan
Di pagi Aidilfitri
Moga panjang umur bersama
Menikmati keindahan pagi Aidilfitri

Berseri murni
Di pagi Aidilfitri
Bersalam-salaman mengheningkan dosa
Amalan mulia

Illahi berkati
Di pagi Aidilfitri
Ku bersyukur dan ku berdoa
Terus mengecap nikmat di pagi Aidilfitri
Mengecap nikmat di pagi aidilfitri

Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri!

Maaf Zahir dan Batin

evolved.

2009-09-12T00:05:00.002+08:00

hey love, it's not even a learned art. there is no way to do that. our lives are not like novels where, there has to be an ending. so the authors purposely tried to help the readers make sense of all the character's idiosyncrasies, the reasons behind some of the things they said. everything just left in the open, just for us to understand or to rationalize things. especially feelings, sayang. all i know is that, every single day now. i try to do things that would make me uncomfortable. out of my comfort zone, something you have been awesome at. like, be abit more vulnerable and honest again. because, even if i don't understand the person on the other end. i understand me better.

it's so freaking true isn't it? sometimes you just don't understand what the other party(parents,sister,brother,friends,clients and colleagues) wants even when you give your 1002338949234028340% shot in everything and anything in this universe that you can possible think of. and THEN you start to analyse, analyse and ANALyse until you get paralysed. because honestly, if it has anything to do with me, the self-awareness bell would have rung and do something about it. and tt would have already been done in the 598250928395% of the actions taken. if not, be upfront about it. many many a times i find myself, " i don't understandddd, i gave her everything she wants, i cleaned the kitchen, she makes noise, i buy her favourite things, he makes noise etc..." what does she really expect the world out of me? haha. well, pain(zak) has got to be the greatest teacher of them all.hell yeah he can be a pain in the ass sometimes(but seriously,i think i am more irr-noying than him). haha. but with this pain i realised i gained perspective about life and most importantly understand my flaws even better, with su octopus concluding a bombastic conclusion. i have this euphoric energy in me that is bursting to continue my mission. a mission to complete. and that's a promise to myself.*hugs

therefore
understand oneself better.
not him, not her, not you.
but, myself better; ourselves better.
because there is always room for personal growth and development.
i am beyonnddd excited.

woooooooooooooooohoooooooooooooooooooo!!!!

energy level: 100000000000000000000000000000%!!!!!

No Complaints. No Whines. No Dissatisfaction.

2009-08-30T12:02:00.001+08:00

CCC:) su happy feet!

<3

2009-08-26T01:07:00.005+08:00

when yani wished to be healthy for her 27th birthday i couldnt agree more with her for the simple yet poignant wish. if ever there is a valedictorian in UOL (University of Life), this woman no doubt will be the one. i love the feeling when you are inspired by someone who understands the complexity of life. and to understand a situation of a certain aspect in life is not an easy task. so when su octopus called up this afternoon with her cheerful voice and say, " Sofii!!! i just wanted to say hellooo and its just that these few days has been great and i understand what has been happening ,in terms of my projects, fyp, etcc..." somehow,i could relate to her. she sounded as though she has reached nirvana and whatever storm or tsunami that's going to hit you, you are going to pull through. pull through the strong current winds of life. *hugs. i don't know what the future holds, i don't know how it will be. i don't know where will it be. and through these hardknocks of life is where we learn from each other to be wiser, stronger and smarter in our moves. InsyaAllah.

Sometimes in our lives we all have pain
We all have sorrow
But if we are wise
We know that there's always tomorrow

Lean on me, when you're not strong
And I'll be your friend
I'll help you carry on
For it won't be long
'Til I'm gonna need
Somebody to lean on

Please swallow your pride
If I have things you need to borrow
For no one can fill those of your needs
That you don't let show

for every person you meet, make sure you make them happier and better than before!:)

Sempurna.

2009-08-23T14:50:00.000+08:00

2009-08-16T21:57:00.000+08:00

Concession fares - NUS, NTU, SMU and SIM, we're all students but...

Why discriminate on concession fares, asks student. -ST

Sun, Aug 16, 2009
The Straits Times

I AM probably not the first reader to write about this, and I do not think I will be the last either.

I understand that students in the National University of Singapore (NUS), Nanyang Technological University (NTU) and Singapore Management University (SMU) are issued with an ez-link concession card on entry to the school. However, that is not the case for the Singapore Institute of Management (SIM).

Why am I different because I study in SIM? I am still a student.

I also understand that most, if not all, foreign students studying in the three universities are issued with an ez-link concession cards. As a citizen and a full-time student, am I not entitled to the same privileges as other tertiary students?

I understand SIM is a private institution with many working adults who enrol in part-time courses. But there are also many full-time students. As full-time students, many of us do not have the time to take a part-time job that will pay significantly more than the allowances parents may give their children who study in the three universities.

No doubt there is the new ez-link season pass, or the SBS season pass, but they cost more than a student can afford. Furthermore, students in some private institutions such as Nanyang Academy of Fine Arts and LaSalle College of the Arts can apply for ez-link concession cards. So what about full-time students of SIM?

Finally finallyyy finallyyyy my prayers are PARTLY answered. i share the same sentiments as Charles You and i wonder and ponder what will goverment do about it. And trust me, this isn't the only thing that i'm unhappy about. No doubt i've graduated and met awesome awesome friends there, but there are also other rights denied as a SIM student. i can go on and on about this. But i still feel strongly about certain things. Maybe i am too afraid to voice out or maybe i am just going with the flow, and Charles You, i salute you for voicing it out cos its time for a damn change. "bumiputras or not, we are still Lee Kuan Yew's great great great grandchildren."

making every minute count

2009-08-16T09:57:00.003+08:00

you know, i used to hate HATE eating apples. i hated the fact that it tasteless and only watermelon/longan rules the world of fruit. just about a few weeks ago i started cultivating the habit of eating apples everyday. it is not because i want to lose weight but because of the very fact that i realised how "strong" my immune system is and my temptation is. seriousllyyy how can you resist the shaker friesss, especially when you are there most of the timeeee. but the bigger picture is, an apple a day keeps the doctor away and i seriously don't ever have a need to see the doctorrrr again. please please take care of your health, your mind and your body peopleee as it is too fragile to be ignorant of :s

the real good things in life are things which doesnt taste half as good. but the benefits and rewards are a abundance. therefore, let's look at the bigger picture and sometimes, you just gotta lurrveeeeee you irritation. *hugs.

everysingleminutecount baby!
no more 5 minutes! no more 10 minutes!no more 15 minutes!
majorrr overhaul needed

2009-08-07T00:40:00.003+08:00

have you seen my dinosaur laptop? well, it is not in the bestest condition as the keyboard is not intact. anddd when i am on skype, the other party thinks i am a warzone typing on the freaking keyboard!. but when moments like this, i thank god for having skype to capture some of the ridiculous things tt these ppl do.

"this is how you look like when you nag" idiot. you deserved it okay!tey-ney-ney

cilin's veryyyyyyyyyyy pretty face in doha.

kakak cilin wearing make-up using tia amelia sunblock as the base foundation only laaa.cilin, i miss you calling me cofi.

and zak, with no eyes but only gigi.

so go download skype.com then we can webcam togeder-geder k. *hugs

2009-08-05T02:53:00.002+08:00

1.5L of patience every single second and do the bestest in everthinggggg that you do:)

we.are.familyyyyyy

2009-08-03T06:27:00.005+08:00

okay. i sayang-sayangggg my family. and last weekend was just super kecohhhh ah. i think dad's gesture of asking nyai to sleepover at swissotel and enjoy fireworks was simply sweet despite the fact that my nyai is wheel-chair bound. and one thing i realised that after 22 years dad still calls me, "eh soupy! kau teman nyai tidur hotel ari ini ehhh..." some things never change la ehh. anywayy, the view from the two hotel rooms was spectacular though e balcony was overload w kids and veryyy overgrown kidss. i stole the pictures from husni's friend who took from us and the pictures were awesome. i didn't really get to see the fireworks much though as i was calming my little nephew down but nevertheless, i think everyone had their share of fun.

so zak is back and healthy. he still had the bali smell which i wonder.did he really mandi after he went back and meet me. haha. i don't exactly know how to describe it. but its just one of a kinddd. the addictive kind. photos of bali were uploaded and damnit mannn there were so many places tt we should have gone tt me and syirin didnt get to go. but the boyssss had fun with evidences of incriminating photos. tsk tsk. haha. and i totally agree with syirin when she said, "the trip wouldnt be that seruuu without us eh syirin!" haha. amiacaim syirinn. next trip, dohaaa ah babe. haha. kesian kauu.

and omggg. yesterday i was so high on laughter with su octopus, laughing and laughing about god knows what la. really wished tt cilin would be there or we had skype or somethinggg. i miss having that moments. that kind of feeling where you just feel full of life. filled with joy and laughter and lovely moments. it makes a hell lot of difference than jjust sitting down and staring into the blank space not doing or thinking too much about something. *hugs and never letting go*

so, i so need to get ready for work and i know its going to be an awesome AWESOME AWESOME week this week, next week and many many more weeks to come! so, go away babi flu, go away teneyneyyy and come joy and laughterrr okay!*hugs

2009-08-01T04:31:00.001+08:00

beautiful beautiful voice this boy has. and you know what. i am not even into idol. well, except for taufik and hadi( haha) but whoever this dude isss.. i gotta meet him. so as you know, my friend budi is the singapore blogger and he is thrillleddddd to become one. and today is one of the many many nights where i just cant freaking sleep, i visited http://blogs.xin.sg/idol/ and there are sneak peeks to it. and when i heard this guy singingggggg. its a nice lullaby to just fall asleep to hear his melodious voice ahhh.apparently, WHATEVER stays in idol, DOESN'T really stay in idol huh. so do visit sg idol website cos i think budi has done quite a good job in it and i better listen to Yasin rite now because i swear the voices in my head is NOT exactly what i want to hear now. happy saturday people and oh yess the mat bali is coming home tom.

Let me fill your heart with joy and laughter
Togetherness well its's all I'm after
Just call my name
And I'll be there

AWESOME POWSOME.

2009-07-31T00:17:00.005+08:00

"Don't Give Up"- D'Masiv

Tak ada manusia

Yang terlahir sempurna

Jangan kau sesali

Segala yang telah terjadi

Kita pasti pernah

Dapatkan cobaan yang berat

Seakan hidup ini

Tak ada artinya lagi

Syukuri apa yang ada

Hidup adalah anugerah

Tetap jalani hidup ini

Melakukan yang terbaik

Tak ada manusia

Yang terlahir sempurna

Jangan kau sesali

Segala yang telah terjadi

Tuhan pasti kan menunjukkan
Kebesaran dan kuasanya

Bagi hambanya yang sabar

Dan tak kenal putus asa

Ironic how zak needs to here those words the mostttttt when he is there all by yourself,with no internet, no friends and no basic laundry.Anyway,It is really a lovely song and how meaningful it is to me. Coincidentally it was in line with what su octopus shared with me that day, "Jangan kau sesali segala yang telah terjadi" Two days after tt he texted me to listen to "Jangan Menyerah-Dont give up" by D'masiv"

So, this wak bali has been very much a mat bali that he is picking up fast. besides the fact that he is watching sinetron-cinta fitri every single second, he sent me a msg saying, "aku butuh kamu" Honestly, i really really thought it was a baddd word that i maki-ed him back. little did i know that it means "need" and he was like, no wonderr kau maki-hamun aku eh.. haha. oh wells, sorry laaa but tts the closest i could find that i even googled a kamus bali to convert the word! so glad tt his condition is better with no complications.he is taking the swab test tom morning and hopefully the result is negative. furthermore they wont let him stay there for more than 7 days. so fight the virus zak! fight!!!!!

and yes, so for the past few days or so, i had slight cough and ohhhhhhhmyyyyyygoddd you dont have any idea how singaporeans look at you and get their eyes locked at you just because you are coughingggg. i mean c'mon. i closed my mouth when i coughed anddddddddd i wiped it w antispetic wipes(yes i bought them) too. i was so shocked at their expression that seriously i will cough with my mouth closed and show a puffer fish face(sofish) haha, but really reallly. even if you are slightly sick, go get the medication okayyyyyyyy. so take care of yourself and *hugs.

:))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

2009-07-27T22:42:00.000+08:00

we are still younggggg. GOD. honestly, sometimes i forget that i am 22 years old. yes. 22 years old. if i were to follow the life expectancy of women in Singapore, which is 82. i have 60 looooooong years of experience on this planet earth or marsss(for heaven's sake!) and venus(girl power baby!). so that means, 60 years of making choices. many many tough choices and hence, tough decisions and finally good/bad experience. but then again being the kind of industry that i am in, the fragility of life is so surreal that in one second, one can have a cardiac arrest, R.I.P MJ. or a stroke can lead to death. Al-fatheha for Almarhumah Yasmin Ahmad.

life is really really short isn't it? it is super cliche' but really there are so so so many things i wanna do! i want to go to santorini islands to see the beautiful view of the houses and floweres, i want to meet people from all walks of life, i want to spread the beautiful thing about lvoe to everyone. so, whatever it is, get out of the brood zone and bounce high up, really high up to reach the pinnacle! at the end of the day, i ask myself, "have i touched your life? because you've touched mine."happy, warm, fuzzy, lovely feelings!*hugs.but do tt always happen in the real world? of course not. i've been disappointed, betrayed, hurt, rejected by a lot of things. probably because of my ownself that i allow these feelings to be. but i have a choice. a choice to choose my feelings, my thoughts, my actions. for that, knowing what really REALLY REALLLY matters to me is damn effing important.

zak is in bali all alone in a foreign country watching sinetron every single second. poor boy is infected with the babi flu after going there for the second time in two months. but hell yeahhhh, he is a very very strong and an indepentttttttt boy. he is recovering very quickly and still thinking of going surfing again when he gets back. tom he will get the results from jakarta to see what the blood tests have shown. i wish i am a superwoman and fly there just to be by your side, but nevertheless i am sure you enjoyed your bali trip to the maxxxxxxxxxxxx with the boys right? please pray that the results are good so that he can come home soon. *hugs. i miss you zak:(

so, i've no idea how much my hp bill is gg to be this month,but i guess that's the least i can do for him to keep him company. hopefully the parcel that i sent over yesterday will reach there tom boy! thank god singpost is open on sundays till 4.

and i will end of what my wise su octopus said

the most important thing, i feel is. to always know that you are held responsible for everything you do and to never regret it:)

2009-06-26T04:51:00.004+08:00

okay. i had an awful awful nightmare and seriouslyyyyyyy, i.don't.even.want.to.think.about.it.
it must have been the tremendous of stress that i'm going through. but what the hell.
SYIRIN IS LEAVING on the 11th of July!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! this woman spells out the word RELAX, like literally and there was soooooooooo many moments that this woman unknowingly made my life wonderful when it gets tough. seriously, when was the last time you lost your temper? or when wad the last time you broke down and cried? you don't even recognise those words syirin. the only things that's in your voacbulary is happiness. true true happiness.so i asked her, "why are you always so calm, cool and collected?" there's a lot of things i learned and in the event you really do not know anything, just pray. Just pray.*hugs maybe i have dreamt a lot of wonderful things about you syirin and when i had that awfulll awfulll nightmare minutes ago, i just can't bear the thought of not having to call you up and hear your nonsense again. i know i've been busy with work eversince i started work. but seriously, each time that amount of stress and other negativites comes in, i will remember you. i will remember your gilaness, your super efficient-self at handling things and all. GOD. this is damn an emo entryyyy ah. but heck it. it's been quite sometime since i pour out my emotions and i just want to say, i love you syirin. i believe i speak for the other kodoks and my su octopus as well. so just stay wonderful, alright?*HUGS

jimbaran beach!
june 09

2009-05-11T23:28:00.002+08:00

because we fall,
we ALL fall,
sometimes.

and we need courage, love and confidence to rise, all the time.
ALL THE TIME
you can,
yes,
you cannnn.

2009-05-07T00:01:00.003+08:00

" gloryyyy glorryyy man uniteddddd...................................................."

to have zak singing that to me in the middle of the night, i swear to God i thought he was mengigau-ingggg ahhh, when he called me. but this very boy converted me into a man-u supporter, unintentionally and not forjetting a minah-scrambler too. i really macam PAHAM know bout them winning the second leg semi-final and going to rome and alll that, padahallll satu kacanggg putehhh pon tak tahu! haha. as the saying goes, suit the burger laaa. but to have the newsfeed from zak and my prospects,the soccer world is not that bad eyy? but i still think watching the guys reaction when they watch soccer is much more interesting then watching the whole 90 mins game. haha. much much much more dramaa.

anywayyyyy, my su happy feet had her last paper of her entire life just now and she's soon going to be a graduate! wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! shackle is off and now she can run free baby! and this woman, without a doubt will succeed in the social university as well la, especially with her nowist attitude.so,jiayou suuu!:)

yes, now now now now nowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.
whooosh!

2009-04-24T00:13:00.007+08:00

*hugs

When this video was shown during the champs meeting,it truly touched my heart and made me tear. how can a simple action be so so emotional impactful to oneself? its the simplest and smallest things that matters most. go give someone or your pet or your teddy bear a hug today.*hugssssssss

Anyway, THE day of dressing up like "harmonie(harry potter)" finally came!honestly, i felt a little bit tey-ney-ney because most of my study buddies was in session 3 rather in session 1. but nevertheless, if not for my family, zak and a few kodoks, i would have probably drowned myself in the regalia alll by myselfffff.
nurain, gua sayang sama kamu ia. thank you for alwayssss alwayssss being smileyyy and happy.will never forget that laughter of yours!

su-isk, spank spank youuuuuuuu for cominggg. JIAYOUUUU for your exams

zak, thank you for making my uni life sweeter and my final year in uni the MOST memorable one ever.*hugs

bahhhhh. i am so so going to misss meeting these peoplec in school.

my beloved family.*hugs.

anddddddddddddddddddddddddd, we are ONE baby!
:)))))))))))))))Alhamdulilah:))))))))))))))

many manyyyyyyyyy manyyyyyyyyy more days, months, years to come InsyaAllah, Ameen.

Love is patient, love is kind.
It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.
It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.
It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

I love you Zak, so so much.

2009-04-19T09:19:00.005+08:00

are you sick? probably you want to visit Allah's Clinic, the bestest remedy ever! :) anywayyyyy, will upload and tell more stories about my convocationnn. woohooo!:)

I went to the God's Clinic to have my routine check -up
and I confirmed I was ill :

When Allah took my blood pressure. He was
I was low in tenderness

When he read my temperature, the thermometer
registered 40 degree of anxiely.

He ran an electrocardiogram and found that I
needed several "Love bypasses" since my
artries were blocked with loneliness and
could not provide for any empty heat.

I went to orthopedics, because I could not walk
by my brother's side and I could not hug my friends,
since I had fractured myself when tripping with envy.

He also found out that I was shortsighted, since
I could not see beyond the shortcomings of my brothers and sisters.

When complained about deafness, the diagnostic was that
I had stopped listening to Allah,
voice talking to me on a daily basis.

For all of that, Allah gave me a free consultation
thanks to His mercifulness, so my pledge is to,
once I leave this Clinic,
only take the natural remedies he prescribed through his words of truth.

EVERY MORNING,
take a full glass of gratitude

When getting to work, take one spoon of peace

Every Hour,
take one pill of patience, one cup of brotherhood and one glass of Humility

When getting Home, take one dose of Love

When getting to bed, take two caplets of clear conscience

Do not give in into sadness or desperation for what you
are going through today.

God knows how you feel.......

God knows exactly and with perfection
what is being allowed to happen
to you in your life at this precise moment.....

God's purpose for you is simply perfect.

He wants to show you things that
only you can understand by living what you are living
and by being in the place you are now.

May God give you........
For every storm, a rainbow,
For every tear, a smile
For every care, a promise
And a blessing in each trial,
For every problem life sends,
A faithful friend to share,
For every sigh, a sweet song,
And an answer for each prayer.

How trueeeee:) get well sooon yea and i hope you will be in the pinkestttttt of health, emotionally and physically always! *hugs.

2009-04-06T20:53:00.004+08:00

em⋅brace (m-brs)

1.	to take or clasp in the arms; press to the bosom; hug.

2.	to take or receive gladly or eagerly; accept willingly: to embrace an idea.

3.	to avail oneself of: to embrace an opportunity.

4.	to adopt (a profession, a religion, etc.): to embrace Islam.

5.	to take in with the eye or the mind.

6.	to encircle; surround; enclose.

I came across this word too many times but failed to internalize the true meaning of it. Though I'm still in the midst in internalizing the meaning, I constantly remind myself to accept things just the way they are. There are so so so many new things out there, to learn, to cherish, to love, to care and to hope for. Is there a need to be cold? Is there a need to worry? Is there a need to really sweat the small stuff ? Eventhough these negativities are being slapped at our faces everyday, embrace it, for that is just one of rules of life.

You can pull through this, Aidah. I know you can. *hugs

2009-04-05T20:14:00.003+08:00

song CONSTANLY ringing in my head:

"I used to rule the world................Seas would rise when I gave the word!!!"

This time round. I made a bad decision. A really baddd one. But with bad decisions, come experience and then, come good decisions rite?haha. So, the next time, when Coldplay comes to play in Singapore again, Din kentutttt or sister or whoeverrrrrrr la, pester and beggg me like mad to go okay? Bahhhhhhhhhh.

Andddd, meet my dadddddddddd.
Well, he doesnt exactly have triple chins or something, but this is his very best attempt to look "slim". with stomach totally sucked in and posing his better profile. haha. so cute rite? now that he is so so into psychology, most of the conversations that was transpired between us is about human behaviour and their mindset. upbringings, unforgetable experiences and stories after stories and after stories. it's really nice and something fresh to talk about. and the personality test that he asked me to take is definitely true. like hello! High in anxiety?!!?!? yikes! haha. but one thing for sure that made me laugh was when he said, " Itu pasal, sebelum kau kahwin, lebih baik kau suruh lelaki kau ambik test nie. Bagus untuk kau" hahaha. Im sure we don't need that now because by then, the sixth sense would have been better at making good judgements.

And so, Viva la Vida, people.
LONG LIVE LIFE!!!!!!!!!!! :)

2009-03-25T03:15:00.004+08:00

hahahaha.
okay.
amongst all the things i want to share, this one is a a
MUST MUST MUSTTTTTTTTTT-read entry on Zakk.

quote-unquote from nadi's email, "u know what to do if it ever happens :p" ohmygoddd. that was seriously damn hilariouslaaaa. and whaddayano, zak lovesssss zakk too la. here's more on zakk's comics- http://www.mmm-boogrrs.com/comics/comics.htm
so! that's Jacheceh for you. he is seriously getting more and more bimbotic day-by-day, winning the crown of the world's kental-an matt in the whole wide universe. heh.
sayang kau.
JIAYOU people!
always look on the bright side of life!
tada!tada!tada!tada!:))))))))))))))

2009-02-12T01:33:00.002+08:00

i figured, since i've not updated my blog for a loooooooong time and i might as well post it here, rather than just FB, here is my 25!

1) when i was in primary school, i used to hate the mole on right cheek and tried all sorts of ways to get rid of it; using eraser, scraping it off with my fingernails, etc... aku gatal..haha. but now, its all over my face and you can literally play, "connect-the-dots".

2) but as i grow older, i learn to love it and little did i know, i have a really REALLY HEU-GEEE prominent mole.. ermmm somewhere above my buttcrack? sighh. haha. sometimes, when i bend down and wear a bootcut jeans/pants i have friends saying, "SOFI!!! there's a buggg somewhere near your waist!!!" haha

3) a few of my jc classmates and i call ourselves the, "buttsistas" because we literally smack each others butt in school and there was once, i thought a teacher, caught us doing that as she said,"Just now, i saw something disgraceful and disrespectful....." i was damn freaked out, because i was afraid the council name was at stake yadda.. yadda.. yaddaa.. and only to realize that it wasn't us. aku kentallll. hahaha. damn i miss those days! superfriggin fun can!

4) my dad was a discipline master and a malay teacher in my very own secondary school. hence, expectations and also, wonderful descriptions as well.my dad and i carry the name, "buncit and anak buncit" haha.damn hilarious and till today, if i bumped into any of them, they would ask, " amaciam , buncit? eh ehhh. sorry.. amaciam Cikgu Hasan??" kurang asam riteeee?haha!

5) im afraid of breaking rules. which explains why i will try my best to be early, try my best to follow every word and every letter in that rule and because of this, I can be quite a square. like my jaw-faced shape doesn't spell enough. haha.

6) anddd because of this, i can be quite gullible, AT TIMES. oh god. one gullible moment i can never ever forget was when zak and ayn paired up to play punk on me in jc, that the teacher called us because we left early for SAT class. OHMYGODDDDDDD, superkentalnakmampos kan last time???!??!?!

7) okay, FINE. two gullible moments. i believed Mark's words when he told me that Jai was a FREAKING ANGLO-AFRICAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

AAAAN LAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!when actually, he is a Chindian. MARK D'SOUZA!!! hahahaha

8) i still find it very leceh to wear contact lens. hence, when i don't wear contact lens, nor spectacles, i have the tendency to wave at any tom,dick or harry whom i thought is my friend. this has happened a couple of times, so BEWARE! haha. su and isk coined it as a "sofi moment" as it happened to them before too.

9) i think funny people are smart people. sometimes is their actions, which is funny and sometimes it's just how they tell the jokes, in a non-offensive and tasty way orrr sometimes is just their personality!

10) my parents have this thing about jokes. my dad will genuinely tell really lame jokes like, "why is Buangkok named Buang-Kok" while my mum will innocently "tell a joke" by saying "eh sofi..... are you going to Starbucks to pay your bills?"

11) i wish i can turn back time and be smarter in my financial planning. moving forward, i hope my strategy works now.

12) i am actually quite a minahhh cos i think it's quite funnn siulll !!! considering that my dad is a malay teacher, i am sure he is proud that his daughter is still speaking in malayyy. haha. but butt, i still think the malay arts scene is beautiful.

13) i wish i can revive gema temasek days, but this time round as an auk-auk and not as a juara. girlsssssssssssssssss, dikir lagi ahhhhhhhhhh!

14) when i was a trainer i lost a stack of 15 cards(roomkeys). painful painful experience, but a good-learning one. learnt from it and moved on.

15) i can't teach malay dance for nutssssssssss. the last time i did, it turned out to be a DISASTERRRRRRRRRR, but an unforgettable one.i don't even know why that dude gave me that responsibility! hahahahahahahaha.

16) i am a very very emotional person and when i am, i will remedy it with a lot a lot a lot of rationality. sometimes i forget about it and it's very very dangerous :S

17) i love motivational/inspirational quotes. it makes my day more and more meaningful eventhough i'm at the lowest.

18)I also like the Ebbinghaus illusion because it’s a reminder that context is everything, and perception is relative. If you can’t figure out what you’re looking at, examine what’s around it instead. zak, you are awesome for telling me about it.

19) i love to hug and hug to love. so if you need one, i'm here! a hugging machine!:)

20) i wish all the eateries in Singapore is Halal, Subway, Carl's Junior, etc... if not, jb ahhhhhhhhhhhhh.tom. amaciam?? haha

21) chrystella and aisha never fails to inspire me always. They are really really amazinggg and their warmth, tender loving care is one of a kind. 16th SC!*hugs

22) i wish my brother speaks out more, like he used to. yes, i do have a brother.

23) i will joget-joget, gelek-gelek to the MAXXXXXXXXX , if i hear a familiar tune of hindustani song, no matter where. i did it in Thailand, in a wedding andddddddd in front of my relatives without me even realising that they recorded me in video. haha. so fun!

24) i believe in the power of believing. henceforth, i am a very optimistic person. but once negativity bites, it can be heaven or hell for me. so,you keep on believing positively okay?*hugs.

25) i secretly can't wait to have my own kids of 9845932840284302. hahaha:)

2009-01-27T11:42:00.006+08:00

BATMANNNNNNNNNNN!!!!:)

sayang bangatttt!

the super efficient organiserrr-MONAsss.
and the orgasmic wafflesssss.

aunty din heh-py or whattt.

with Usher on the ferry.RITE.haha.

life is a holiday baby!
treasure every single second of it.
the good, the bad and the ugly.
kata, JUTAWANNN.
(millionare!)
haha.
*hugs